Ep#204 Will ChatGPT solve your burnout?
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[00:00:00] Hi everyone. My name's Dex Randall, and this is the Burnout Recovery Podcast where I teach professionals to recover from burnout and get back to passion and reward at work.

[00:00:22] Hello my friends. I'm coming to you this week with a little experiment that I did. I asked ChatGPT this question: "What are the essential skills and practices a person needs to recover from professional burnout?"

[00:00:40] Today what I'm going to do is present my analysis of its response because if you've tried using one of the big LLMs such as ChatGPT, or Claude or whatever, to help you resolve burnout related issues, it is possible that you came unstuck and not very much changed for you.

[00:00:57] And in my view, that's quite in line with industry so-called solutions to burnout. The needle doesn't move very much. So let's talk about why.

[00:01:09] ChatGPT, in this case, when it answered my question, it chose 10 skills, which it describes as a comprehensive breakdown of what it takes to recover from burnout. Because of course you'd need 10 skills, not 13 or seven. There's no platform nine and three quarters here. So we've got 10 skills, comprehensive breakdown of what it takes to recover from burnout, courtesy of ChatGPT.

[00:01:40] I'm going to go through them in a moment, but I must preface this by sharing that I am actually, as a software engineer from way back, a really big fan and actually quite an avid user of AI, for certain tasks.

[00:01:56] Like making my self-expression more flowy. It does a terrific job at that. Although it does insert the buzzword clarity very freely. A word which, in my opinion, is as devoid of meaning as flogged-to-death buzzwords like "reaching out", "circle back", "synergy" and "agile". Just my personal perspective. But one of the totally great things about AI is you can write a kill list of terms that should never appear in its responses to you.

[00:02:31] My top three, as you may have guessed, are clarity, clarity and clarity. And then you share your list with AI, with an instruction to generate content crispy clean of those terms. Of course, unfortunately it can have a poor memory about this, and if it's in love with the word clarity, as ChatGPT is, then clarity will reappear.

[00:02:53] And I've noticed it can also do a pretty indifferent job of cultural sensitivity and regional specificity, regional languages. And so when it called me "mate" yesterday, which is a popular form of address for Australian men, I really didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and so we had a little bit of discussion about whether it was an okay thing to do.

[00:03:20] So let's get to the skills that ChatGPT thinks will resolve professional burnout, recalling that it considers this list exhaustive.

[00:03:29] Skill number one, self-awareness: Understanding the signs, triggers, and underlying causes of burnout. Couldn't disagree with that, but I do think that most of us having habitual beliefs that create blind spots, would have little awareness of the true causes of burnout symptoms if we just tried to think them up from our own brain.

[00:03:52] Our blinkered thinking is generally what tips us into burnout in the first place. We can see our boss is exploding with anger and shouting, but we'd need an expert to help us identify our own unhelpful patterns of response to that.

[00:04:08] Think about it this way: If burnout was caused by external triggers, such as our boss, alone, then a hundred percent of people working in contact with that boss will be burned out. I have never found that to be the case.

[00:04:24] So these are the skills needed for that according to ChatGPT. Emotional intelligence: to recognize and name the feelings, for example, frustration, fatigue.

[00:04:36] Many people do need to develop more skills at this.

[00:04:39] Second point, identifying physical symptoms of stress, such as headaches and insomnia, and third, tracking patterns in work life causing exhaustion.

[00:04:50] Some of those patterns, of course, can be external. However, we are likely to also have internal patterns and responses that make matters worse.

[00:05:01] My first rule of burnout is that it happens to Type A high achievers who've developed a specific M.O. in order to super achieve. And that M.O., when it's taken to extremes as it can be, shunts them into burnout eventually.

[00:05:20] Alright, ChatGPT's practices to support all of this self-awareness: number one, journaling daily thoughts and emotions. Number two, regular check-ins to assess energy levels and mood. And number three, reflecting on boundaries and unmet needs.

[00:05:37] Yeah, it's not that I disagree with those, but they are a little bit feeble. They're necessary, but taken alone, they're not going to move the needle at all. We can't just notice we are tired and grumpy or overworked and stop being so.

[00:05:53] So what would I say about that? Yes, you need self-awareness, but the skills include a much deeper forensic investigation of the causes of suffering. And acceptance of what part of that suffering we have contributed to ourselves. In burnout, it's a lot more than you might think, but this really contains the great news that you can reduce whatever you can control. So this is really the place where you begin to find a bit of wiggle room and a bit of agency, a bit of hope about your burnout.

[00:06:29] Some of it is contributed from inside of you, and that's where you get to make the easiest changes. So that's ChatGPTs point number one, self-awareness.

[00:06:39] I think for anybody listening, if you are relating to the burnout experience at all, self-awareness needs to go much deeper than it ever has before for you, in order to recover.

[00:06:52] And that's where coaching comes in handy. And self-honesty is a really big part of that, as is facing up to the emotional discomfort you might have been avoiding, and also the identity or ego threat that comes with considering change. So that's number one, self-awareness.

[00:07:10] ChatGPT comes up with a number two, stress management.

[00:07:14] I have to agree with that one. And it says: this is effectively coping with chronic stress, to avoid overwhelm. Again, I agree with that one. The skills it thinks are needed: recognizing when stress is escalating. Of course. Implementing stress reduction techniques such as deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation.

[00:07:36] Those practices may temporarily diffuse or reduce stress, but they're never going to be able to relieve the cause. And the practices ChatGPT suggests mindfulness or meditation for grounding and clarity. See, clarity, it's popped up. Here's what I think the level of understanding you need here is more cognitive than mindful.

[00:07:59] Mindfulness is really noticing what's present. Cognition is "Oh, there's something here I don't like. How can I change it?" It also suggests as a practice regular physical activity to release tension. Again, it's good, but it's a temporary stress release that fixes nothing. And also many people who are in the fatigue of burnout can't be bothered to exercise, and I don't really blame them.

[00:08:26] Limit over-commitment by saying No to non-essential tasks. True that is a requirement of burnout recovery. But no one in burnout will do this unassisted. The reason they haven't done it so far is because of the emotional discomfort it will produce. Fear of rejection's going to be quite loud in them. So what would I rather say instead?

[00:08:50] Stress is produced mostly when we're in conflict with our world, not the other way round. The world isn't conforming to our rules of how it should behave. We want the people and places and things to behave according to our belief system, not according to how the rest of the world naturally behaves.

[00:09:11] Of course, the terrible news there is it's never going to conform to us. It's going to keep being it, whatever it is. You can't expect, for example, then to beat burnout by changing your job, your boss or your industry. You must address internal factors to create genuine resilience within you. This is your power, energy, and passion returning.

[00:09:36] Only then will that asset be transferrable to a new job if you would like to change your job.

[00:09:43] Okay, from ChatGPT, rest and recovery skill number three. This is about replenishing energy and prioritizing physical health. And the skills that needed here are: listening to your body's signals for rest. True. If you're burning out, although it's like boiling a frog, the burning out process, you do need to sit up and take notice of when you're running out of steam, rather than making excuses for it or deferring action until later when you're less busy.

[00:10:17] The next skill needed: scheduling downtime without guilt. Again, the classic person in burnout will be completely unable to do this. If they could do it, they already would have, and it comes back to fear of rejection, taking over-responsibility for others and their wellbeing whilst neglecting one's own wellbeing.

[00:10:38] And those of us in burnout can't afford to pay that price. It gets so extreme. It's a dynamic commonly associated with women in burnout, being the emotional caregivers for everyone else first, but I found it equally applies to men.

[00:10:55] So the practices that go with this: creating consistent sleep routines. I shouldn't laugh, but good luck with this if you've got stress-related insomnia and anxiety.

[00:11:06] This needs fixing it root cause by tackling the anxiety and stress. And I help people first find themselves worthy and good enough, to help them stop obsessing about failure, loss and letting people down. To support them to see clearly that they can acquit their responsibilities perfectly well in the day without lying fretting all night.

[00:11:31] The next practice: taking breaks during work to recharge. Likewise, this is not use usually possible until inadequacy, imposter syndrome and so on are addressed at root cause, allowing higher productivity to naturally emerge and speak for itself.

[00:11:52] The next practice: using vacation time fully to disconnect from work. Same again. You wish, I bet? If you are burning out, you might be laughing or crying to hear that one. Because most people in burnout going on holiday are unable to disconnect at all. Disconnection is really the benefit of a calm and satisfied mind, and that's not what you took on holiday with you if you're in burnout.

[00:12:18] So what would I say here? You've heard it. Surface habits will only be changeable once the underlying causes of those unhelpful behaviors and beliefs are removed. A person first needs to feel self-assured to rest well, and that's an emotional and cognitive journey. Reversing out self-criticism, for example, by transforming one's relationship to oneself.

[00:12:44] By learning to love, cherish, and value oneself as an innately worthy human. So this is an identity shift. This is a belief shift about who you think you are and what worth or value you put on that self.

[00:13:04] So those were the first three points.

[00:13:06] Are you getting my drift a little bit there?

[00:13:08] Skill number four, boundaries and assertiveness: reclaiming control over your time, energy, and resources. As above, you'll need to value and honor yourself more firmly before this can be accomplished. Otherwise, you're going to feel terribly exposed. It'll probably scare the pants off you. And your resulting awkwardness at boundary setting might easily backfire. For example, if you express yourself a bit clumsily. Or start fighting with whoever is your offsider there. 

[00:13:41] So it says the skills here that are needed: saying No with confidence. This is a profoundly advanced skill. When you start saying No, you must first convey to the other person your care, respect and appreciation of them as humans. Confidence must be built in you first. So how to do that? You'll need a new template for communicating, understanding correctly what others are communicating, and then owning your own reactions. And finally, you'll need to deploy a great deal of compassion to both parties as you tenderly renegotiate expectations.

[00:14:27] It's actually quite a gentle process.

[00:14:30] So next thing ChatGPT says that you need to do is communicate your needs effectively. Well, you do, but you have to be willing to ask and be willing to be rejected on it. If you are burning out, how's that going for you right now? Little bit awkward? This skill really needs to be developed again from a level of worthiness that declares your right to have needs and to ask them to be met and to take care of yourself if they're not met.

[00:14:59] So the next practice is recognizing and rejecting toxic work dynamics. Ideally, yes. We're playing into most people in burnout's specialist subject here. But even though you may complain loud and long about someone's behavior, or your organization's behavior, when it comes to a remedy, you probably have a lot less to say. Again, it's because it's a really scary thing to do. Most people in burnout will not have been taught to stand up for themselves and for their rights as children, so you need to learn it now.

[00:15:35] That's an advanced skill. And you need to learn that before you tackle any breaches that might have occurred in what you would describe as a toxic relationship or a toxic work environment, or a toxic dynamic. So that's not a skill for junior players that needs very careful preparation.

[00:15:53] I had a physician client a little while back who was being bullied at work by her boss, put on a performance plan, reviewed to death, and I helped her have a different style of conversation with him, that dramatically reduced tension. It turned out that he too was on a performance plan himself and under pressure to let staff go and meet budgets and numbers. And so it might have been a toxic system that both of them were in, but it was never personal about my client.

[00:16:26] So the practice is: setting limits on work hours and availabilities. If I asked you to do that tomorrow, could you do it? Because everything I've said already applies here too. When you create self approval, respect your own values, make choices from there, the answers will come naturally, but you need to build yourself up in order to be able to make those decisions.

[00:16:50] Protecting personal time for families, hobbies, and self-care. In an ideal world, yes, but this kind of restoration is not only an emotional bridge too far from burnout, it also lacks appeal because it risks further demands being placed on you. It risks irritation, conflict, and probably blame for past difficulties.

[00:17:13] Mostly what people in burnout want is to hide out at home alone, maybe watching TV or having a beer in the den without anyone bothering them. So you'll need to build energy and resources before you attempt reconnection.

[00:17:29] Next one, defining what is and isn't acceptable in work relationships.

[00:17:34] Oh, that's a bold call. We mentioned boundaries earlier, saying No, toxic culture. When a person has really begun to rebound from burnout with more energy, confidence, and stable mood, it becomes quite reasonable to tackle work conflict, but really not before. Otherwise you risk making things worse for both parties.

[00:17:58] Exhaustion and a brittle presence can't really negotiate peace. Anecdotally, I was bullied at work once and this was a period where burnout was already reaching its tentacles inside of me. So when I mentioned bullying to the management, they terminated my contract rather than lose their one developer.

[00:18:20] In hindsight, a poor choice on my part.

[00:18:23] Anyhow, now we're getting to the juice, surely?

[00:18:27] Number five from ChatGPT: Emotional resilience, and it describes that as managing negative emotions and building mental strength. Okay. Can't argue with that.

[00:18:40] Skills needed: reframing negative thoughts into constructive perspectives.

[00:18:45] Yeah, good.

[00:18:46] Handling criticism and setbacks without personalizing them.

[00:18:50] Excellent.

[00:18:52] Practices: gratitude journaling to focus on positives.

[00:18:55] No, no, no. No whitewashing. Let's not paper over the cracks. Let's deal constructively with negative emotions and process those right through first, so that they diminish.

[00:19:08] Don't go stick in these little stickers on your fridge and think everything will work out. You probably already tried that.

[00:19:14] Next one. Engaging in hobbies or creative outlets that spark joy.

[00:19:18] Wrong timing. When you're hip deep in undealt with negative emotions, exhausted, fatigued, hobbies cannot possibly create joy.

[00:19:29] I had a musician client recently who couldn't enjoy playing music until he was a couple of months into Burnout Recovery. Then he fired up with a huge creative outpouring of ideas and energy. So, don't take that straight out the gate, I'd say.

[00:19:46] The next one. Building a support system for encouragement and validation.

[00:19:50] Ideally, yes, but in burnout, we've often burnt the very bridges we now need. It happens that friends, family, partners, and kids probably have got their noses a bit out of joint, because we've been cranky for a while. So really here, recovery comes from the inside out. We resource ourselves, and then when it comes up and hits the surface, when better energy is coming forth from us, when we are feeling stronger, then it's time to repair relationships and reconnect with supporters from that new positive energy.

[00:20:27] Are you seeing a theme recurring, anywhere in anything that I've been saying today? 

[00:20:32] I do lay on a bit thick sometimes, but you know what I'm trying to share with you here is that our corroded insides need repair, and that's our job, but most of us can only do that with a guide. I know I couldn't even see that work, let alone do it when I was burning out. I had a lot of help from an expert learning how to rebuild, by taking responsibility. By reconnecting with the good in me. By understanding completely that it's okay to be me. I created self-assurance step by step, and that helped me face essentially the carnage of a heart attack and job loss.

[00:21:15] And all the other moments leading up to that, where I really hadn't done myself proud. And I put a lot of people offside. And on that vein, I was in hospital quite a lot, but it did take me a year to go back to my erstwhile employer and tell him that I was sorry that I'd walked out. And he said he was sorry I'd walked out too.

[00:21:36] I really don't want it to take you that long. I want you to be able to love your life, your job, and your people. And I want you to be able to give them much more opportunity and freedom to love you back, because they do and they will.

[00:21:56] I could go on with the 10 points, but I'm just going to read out the other five because I think you can already guess what I might say about them.

[00:22:04] Number six, you need self-compassion, of course.

[00:22:08] Number seven, you need alignment with values and purpose. Yes, you do.

[00:22:14] Number eight, you need connection and support eventually, when you can meet it halfway.

[00:22:19] Number nine, time management and focus. And I'm so glad they put this at number nine. I put it pretty far down the running order of recovery when I'm working with clients, and the reason I do that is you need every single preceeding skill they've developed up to that point in order to really nail time management and focus.

[00:22:40] But then once you get there, you can make astronomically large improvements in productivity, efficiency, results, everything you really wanted from your time. And also decision making, that comes during the course of burnout recovery. We really improve our decision making and prioritization skills. So all of that comes near the end.

[00:23:03] And number 10, of course, gratitude and joy cultivation. Couldn't agree more. And when I see gratitude and joy emerging in my clients, I know they're good to go. Really that.

[00:23:16] So I think you've got the point already. I absolutely agree you need those 10 skills. Possibly a bunch more that we didn't yet mention here. ChatGPT didn't mention them.

[00:23:27] But mostly you need to find your mojo. If you're burning out, if you're exhausted, fatigued, pissed off, fed up, overworked, overwhelmed, and all the rest, you need to find your mojo.

[00:23:38] You need to find your passion. You need to find your heart.

[00:23:42] You need to find yourself worth saving.

[00:23:46] When you learn that all of those other tools will drop into place, it'd be much easier to implement. And then it becomes just an ordinary learning and practice like schoolwork really. And you're very adept at that already.

[00:24:00] So it's very easy for an intelligent and accomplished professional like you to pick up new skills.

[00:24:06] You know how to do that. I'm not going to say anymore about that.

[00:24:10] I have created a very precise and robust system that rebuilds everything that I've spoken about here. It's tried and tested, it works. You just need to show up for 11 weeks of coaching and follow the bouncing ball.

[00:24:24] If that's you and you're thinking about that and you're wondering whether you can do it or not, let me put it this way.

[00:24:31] I'm backing you to succeed sight unseen.

[00:24:34] With burnout, recovery with me. Whatever stage of burnout you're at, whatever your experience or company, whatever parts of today's episode do or don't resonate for you, whatever role you're in at work, whatever your age or gender or industry, because all you need to succeed is commitment to the work and the existing attributes you automatically have as a Type A professional.

[00:25:00] So if you can relate to the things that I've been saying in this podcast episode, you already qualify for Burnout Recovery to be a success for you.

[00:25:09] I'm the one who has to worry about that because I would be your coach, so you can go to ChatGPT, and of course, many people do. The highest use of ChatGPT according to their recent report is people go there to solve their personal problems, but it's generalist.

[00:25:27] Maybe you might find some useful suggestions there, but as likely, if you're in burnout, it's going to lead you to deeper despair about your ability to fix things, particularly if you're very fatigued and down already.

[00:25:41] This is partly why I don't suggest it. It is just going to tell you stuff that doesn't work and then you're going to go, but it doesn't work. It's hopeless.

[00:25:47] And I really can't bear the idea of people going to AI and getting that result and giving up on themselves.

[00:25:55] So, although I've just given a bit of a razzing to ChatGPT and other AI models like it, I will say I do have my own Chat AI. I've got Dex AI Coach and I trained it on all my own intellectual property.

[00:26:12] My 10,000 sessions of insight, my coaching methodology, all of my practice. And I do vet it to make sure it never issues impractical or misleading advice or superficial advice. It says actually quite a lot of what I would say because I've trained it on what I do say. So I'm going to make a video soon about the difference between asking a question of my Dex AI coach, and of me personally, and we'll see what the comparison is.

[00:26:44] But really the whole point is Dex AI Coach is behaving very like I would behave if I was sitting in front of you. And I have had a lot of people in my audience and client base give it a whirl, giving me a lot of feedback about it. It's all been extremely positive. Most of them seem to be quite surprised at how effective it was for them in solving their immediate problem.

[00:27:06] So if you do have chronic stress, anxiety, overwork, burnout, whatever, please feel free to throw your specific questions or problems at Dex AI. I'm confident you'll be surprised at its ability to quickly spot your burnout patterns, share immediate relief strategies with you, and show you the path back to your energy and passion.

[00:27:33] And the link to that Dex AI is in the show notes.

[00:27:36] And finally my friend, if today's episode is speaking to your poor, battered heart and you'd like personal help to quit burnout, book an appointment to share your challenges and goals with me at mini.dexrandall.com. Links in the show notes, and let's make a plan for your resurgence, sooner rather than later. Can't bear to think of you suffering.

[00:27:59] Thanks for listening today. I hope you heard something of value to you, that brings you closer to taking the path back to excellence that is your due. The world needs people like you back on deck.

[00:28:14] And please do share this episode with anyone you know who needs to hear it.

[00:28:18] Many, many people suffer in silence out there.

[00:28:22] All righty. Until next time, stay true to yourself.