Ep#199 Finding New Hope
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[00:00:00] Hi everyone. My name's Dex Randall, and this is the Burnout Recovery Podcast where I teach professionals to recover from burnout and get back to passion and reward at work.

[00:00:22] Viktor Frankl wrote his book, Man's Search for Meaning in 1946, after surviving his World War II internment in a concentration camp. He describes all prisoners as enduring first shock, and then apathy. Then, noticing that the death rate spiked between Christmas and New Year 1944, he attributed the increase to the number of prisoners who were naively holding out hope for release before Christmas, saying "The prisoner who has lost faith in the future, his future, was doomed. With his loss of belief in the future, he also lost his spiritual hold. He let himself decline and become subject to mental and physical decay."

[00:01:20] I'm sure we can all appreciate the relevance of his words in these times. I'm recording this on October the 14th, moments after the Gaza ceasefire. Regardless of one's allegiance, I think we can agree that it's been a devastating conflict and that the ceasefire is at last vindicating the hopes of many for peace. And the relief of suffering for even more.

[00:01:47] Frankl further suggests, perhaps provocatively, that "Life has never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose."

[00:02:00] I do recommend you read his book, which contains many unexpected but vital seeds of hope. You might find his deep wisdom, highly applicable to your own personal situation, whatever that is. And of course, if you're in chronic stress, to the prospect of burnout recovery.

[00:02:21] So, hello, today we're gonna talk about hope.

[00:02:25] I myself have hope, usually even in the direst of circumstances. I try to give life whatever meaning and purpose I'm able to. Research shows that finding sufficient meaning and purpose to live intentionally are not frivolous pursuits. Meaning and purpose aren't touchy feely. They're a requisite to human survival and thriving.

[00:02:55] People with a strong sense of purpose are happier, healthier, and more focused. This is similar to the power of human connection, where even poor quality connections, for example conflicted marriages, extend human lifespan by 10 years. Check the research. Loneliness is as potent a killer as cigarettes.

[00:03:21] So seek purpose, ascribe meaning! Your choice.

[00:03:29] Can't find your meaning? Try this.

[00:03:31] The best leaders are defined by one clear lasting impact. It's just one sentence.

[00:03:40] So what's yours? What impact do you want to leave behind?

[00:03:44] My sentence "I revolutionized burnout recovery."

[00:03:49] I hope that you are having a lovely day. Mine's been pretty special so far. I woke up with all my faculties intact, went down to the beach for a dawn body surf, had coffee. And sometimes, you know, I can hardly grasp the level of privilege of that.

[00:04:08] Hope: Let's come back to burnout, because in burnout it's missing, huh?

[00:04:15] With the long, drawn out crash of energy, drive, motivation and enthusiasm as you burn out, and that crash can extend for years, decades, or even a whole tightly choreographed career. Hope has usually, by this time, been replaced by something like cold, numb, despair.

[00:04:39] Can you relate?

[00:04:40] If you can, you've very likely tried to outwork it or outrun it, waiting until the good times roll back in. Although personally, I think COVID largely disabused us of that dream.

[00:04:55] New Normal is often unpalatable. Fewer job opportunities. No career path. Increased targets. Ever shifting demands.

[00:05:06] Too many meetings filled with senseless conversations. More red tape, performance metrics, micromanagement, disappearing roles. And the AI takeover. Of course, layoffs and rapid staff turnover.

[00:05:24] And all of this is happening at a rate of change that's accelerating faster than our nervous systems are capable of processing. And in a culture increasingly divorced from basic human values of connection, care, decency, loyalty, and recognition.

[00:05:43] Since the people who are burning out are mostly wired to be high achievers, losing one's status, job or mojo is simply not acceptable. We're the fixers, we can solve anything, right? But as the screws tighten, we realize we are losing our superpowers.

[00:06:04] As leaders, we are told to squeeze out more performance whilst delivering endless bad news to our dwindling teams.

[00:06:11] And we take all this very personally and wonder how we can survive, let alone lead in this toxic environment. Waking in dread, we tend to need a lot more pumping up to face our work days.

[00:06:26] By this time we'll be pretty shut down, grouchy, isolating, ashamed of how we've been brought down. Finding solace in drink, possibly, rather than from our loved ones. Home life suffers. Relationships become strained, and we feel utterly alone.

[00:06:47] Still we keep going. We're not quitters, but work wounds and depletes us more and more.

[00:06:55] We might run on empty for years, a greyed out version of ourselves, but eventually the lack of hope will get in under our armor. We become too tired to sort things out.

[00:07:06] So then what? Exhausted, harassed, frustrated, finally, what can we do?

[00:07:13] Of course, if that's you, you might have tried switching jobs or taking a little bit of time off.

[00:07:20] Your misery, though turns out to be portable. Huh? It's dug in at a deeper level than circumstantial, and I think this crisis is internal. We wanted to be able to solve every problem. Great while it lasted! Excruciating when it fails! And of course, by no means necessary to have a good and fruitful career or life.

[00:07:44] If you are listening to this and relating to what you hear, what do you think would solve your current malaise?

[00:07:51] I believe that if a person is burning out, which don't forget, is primarily defined as chronic work, stress, exhaustion, cynicism, or increased mental distance from one's job and reduced efficacy, well then that person needs the opposite. The nexus of ease, energy, connection, and performance.

[00:08:15] Probably crumples you to even hear that, this shimmering golden dream.

[00:08:20] So here's why I bring you this episode. The despair, depletion, anxiety, mood crash, loneliness, loss of mojo of burnout are all reversible. The despair that things will never get better is a false prison. In the same way it's false in depression, which for many feels terminal.

[00:08:43] Picture this. What if the future you suddenly felt confident, relaxed, energized, and resilient? Just pause right now and imagine or visualize yourself as that person for just a moment. Your brain can do this, even if you tell yourself that you can't. Use a buoyant earlier life version of you, if you like, as the template, or borrow the attributes you need from the leader you most admire, and then see yourself owning them.

[00:09:22] The future you is able to work calmly and productively with any situation that arises. To rise above the chaos and take it in stride; to find inspired solutions and to get other people on board with them.

[00:09:39] See yourself- What are you wearing? How are you standing? What space are you in? Hear how modulated your voice is and sense how expansive you feel to be back on top. Breathe into the relaxed body of that future you and feel what that's like. Connect with that energy, the consummate leader.

[00:10:04] No matter how you imagine or visualize that future you, whether you can feel into that experience or not, you do own it. It's part of you, that mojo you left behind somewhere. You can reclaim it or recreate it from the ashes.

[00:10:25] "YOU 2.0" isn't some airbrushed paragon of virtue who can do no wrong. It isn't about straining to become your best self. You don't need to achieve more to get there or cut out your quirks and failings. It's just you, as you are, radiating confidence and resilience, able to be authentically good enough. It's you becoming yourself, coming home to what belongs to you, not running away.

[00:11:01] 'cause where did the running ever get you?

[00:11:03] If you had a glimpse of that vision: you, in a better place than you are now, standing tall, grounded, relaxed. How did that feel to you? How would that be for you to live from that true inner strength that has always been good enough? So that all your nervous mistakes fall away? What would change in your life if you were that person?

[00:11:34] As Victor again says, "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves... decisions, not conditions, determine what a man is... Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. And in our response lies our growth and our freedom."

[00:12:03] Hope can be chosen, it can be cultivated when we harness our inner resources in direct pursuit of authenticity, purpose, meaning, courage, connection and service. When we put off our armor and become willing to reengage our hearts.

[00:12:25] Shutting down actually causes the greater part of our suffering in burnout.

[00:12:29] Closing our hearts to ourselves is the biggest price that we pay.

[00:12:36] Okay, so why do we shut down? Because we perceive ourselves as flawed, inadequate, failing, undeserving. We're not supporting our people or acquitting our responsibilities in a way we think creates success. So we think other people are judging or rejecting us.

[00:12:57] Notice how much of what I just said is perception, controlled by our habitual thoughts about the gap between "who we are" and "who we think we should be".

[00:13:07] Where is our champion now? The person who believes in us?

[00:13:12] It certainly isn't us, because at this point we're punching ourselves in the face all day, metaphorically. Rejecting, neglecting and outlawing ourselves until our hearts just plain shrivel away.

[00:13:26] And this isn't our workmates, because imposter syndrome has blinded us into actually underperforming.

[00:13:34] And it isn't our families, who we shut the door on or yell at.

[00:13:38] Who then? If not you, who's coming to rescue you? As Victor said, it has to start with you.

[00:13:47] Hope, power, and possibility return when you take the rod off your own back. 'cause what would you expect from a donkey that you beat mercilessly every day? Not loyalty!

[00:14:00] When you choose instead to champion yourself and generate the belief in yourself that you've lost, your life will turn around. This is the journey I support my clients on- the path back from burnout or to prevent burnout. They're the same.

[00:14:17] Believe in yourself. Tend to yourself kindly, as you learn to open back up. Recognize the power of your heart. Soften towards the world that you hate. Take responsibility. Become the missing champion of you, and your mojo will return. I promise. You'll succeed better than you have ever before. From a lighter sense of being. A lack of crippling pain. And your freedom to just be.

[00:14:49] I'm saying you can absolutely reclaim that. If it's inside of you, the good news is that it's available. No one can take it away.

[00:14:57] So hope is what your heart needs. Don't deprive it a moment longer. Talk to your heart if you like. Talk to it directly. Ask it questions. Ask it what it wants from you now. Or if you are able to visualize or imagine that future you, ask them what they want you to do now, what do they recommend?

[00:15:18] If everything's gone dark in your life and you've suffered enough, make the decision that will relaunch your enthusiastic, smooth, engaged, and vibrant self.

[00:15:30] Don't wait to see what will happen next at work. Your experience of work will change when you change, and I can guide you reliably through that transition in a series of neuroscience-backed steps.

[00:15:46] Of course, I have to give the last words to Victor. "We need to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead think of ourselves as those who are being questioned by life."

[00:15:59] What will your answers be?

[00:16:01] If you would like, you can sign up for a consult appointment with me, and we can talk through your goals for the future and what currently separates you from them. Then we'll map out the path for you to achieve those goals. If you'd like to do this, visit dexrandall.com to book an appointment.

[00:16:20] Thank you so much for listening today. I hope that you'll read Victor's book. And please share this episode with other people who might need to hear it and also rate the podcast. Thank you so much. Be kind to yourself. You are good enough.