[00:00:00] Hi everyone. My name's Dex Randall, and this is the Burnout to Leadership Podcast where I teach professional men to recover from burnout and get back to passion and reward at work.

[00:00:22] Hello my friends. This is Dex and welcome to this week's episode from Numb to Unstoppable. And today we're going on a journey from a dull uninspired work day to the kind of deep, meaningful and energizing experience that you used to have and can absolutely get back. If you are stuck in that fog, we'll explore what imperfection really is and how it traps you, why you feel so exposed and vulnerable at work, how you lost your motivation, confidence and productivity.

[00:00:57] The deep cost of losing control, where authentic, powerful performance truly comes from, and how to actually realign with ease, passion, and success, even when you feel fried. Do you ever feel like that little tickle of imposter syndrome is gnawing at your brain? Are your days filled with to-do lists and busy work just to feel like you did something?

[00:01:23] Let's rewind for a second. Do you remember when you were unstoppable? Ideas flying before breakfast, crushing long caffeinated days, knocking out work that lit you up? You felt powerful, on the edge, alive. Do you miss those days? Kind of yes, kind of no? Because for us Type As, early career life is like a cocktail of fear and fire.

[00:01:51] It's intense, but it builds confidence fast. Sometimes we might even start to believe we walk on water. That's the Type A trap, and I'll put my hand up for that one. But then the grind sets in, the shine fades. Work becomes politics, profit, repetition. And the spark? Buried under grunt work! Maybe you hit a wall, missed a promotion, got stuck with a boss who doesn't get you, and at the same time, maybe your personal life got more complex -kids, family, priorities shifting. 

[00:02:29] So now what? If the job doesn't feel shiny anymore, do you? Are you still a hero of your own story or are you starting to doubt it? Are you a bit stuck? Is your brain disengaged?

[00:02:46] Are your mornings harder and your inbox heavier? Has your productivity slipped? Are your ideas fewer and farther between. Has your mojo just left the building? Because that's really how the burnout spiral starts. You don't feel like a superstar anymore, and underneath it all, you still want to be spectacular, triumphant, admired. 

[00:03:13] That loss of brilliance hits hard because for high performers, being brilliant is like a drug. It protected you and without it you feel exposed, like your talent doesn't count anymore. And maybe just maybe you start to believe that it's your fault. Here's the thing, when your self-image crashes, motivation, confidence, and hope follow. You slip off the wave, you lose control, you stop dazzling, and the shame kicks in.

[00:03:48] Your work suffers. And deadlines slip, mistakes might creep in. You fall behind, avoid people, shut down. It gets dark. If you're Type A, driven, used to being "on", then you tell yourself you've lost your edge, and that is a soul wound. Now you're desperate or numb or both. You start calling yourself lazy, incompetent, unacceptable.

[00:04:17] And the self-criticism snowballs into full on self-destruction. It doesn't help. It just makes you more numb. 

[00:04:26] Sound familiar? That numbness that is your soul pulling away from your attacks. Self-criticism is deeply destructive, and we are not taught how to stop it. They say "Think positive, practice gratitude, meditate."

[00:04:44] All terrific things, but not when your mind is at war with itself. Because without self-esteem, self-acceptance and self-confidence, you can't turn the ship around. But there is a way forward, true performance, deep lasting, joyful performance springs from self-compassion, not more pressure, not more hustle.

[00:05:10] It comes from being kind to yourself, especially when things go wrong. Every one of my clients learns this. It's how they recover from stress, anxiety, self-criticism, rage, low confidence, and of course burnout. If your relationship with yourself isn't warm and supportive, you won't be able to receive support from others. You'll reject goodness even when it's right there. 

[00:05:38] So let's start small. Here are four powerful steps to begin your recovery. 

[00:05:44] Step one, notice the self-critical thoughts. Write them down. Not to punish yourself, but to reveal what's wrong in the show. 

[00:05:53] Step two, agree that you are unconditionally worthy. You were born worthy, still are, life just powered layers of judgment on top. Think of the Tibetan view. A misstep is just a passing cloud. The sun you remains perfect underneath. 

[00:06:15] Step three, commit to a kinder relationship with yourself. You are worthy of your own care, compassion and love. Say it, hear it, practice it. Even if no one told you before. I'm telling you now.

[00:06:32] Step four, interrupt self-criticism with kindness. When a nasty thought pops up, say, no, that's not true. I don't do that anymore. Replace it with something compassionate, like "I haven't done that yet. I'll fix it now." At first, your brain will rebel. The ego hates losing control, but keep going. Sometimes it helps to imagine the criticism landing on a tiny, upset child version of you.

[00:07:02] You'd protect them, right? Now, protect your adult self the same way. This might sound daft. You might want to argue, but try it anyway because the pain you're in, that wounding, it's voluntary. And healing, also voluntary. You get to choose. You can recover, you can feel joy again. You can be brilliant again without the burnout.

[00:07:29] So go easy on yourself. Really, this is a new way of being. Your mind will kick and scream. That's okay. But if you hang in there and you keep interpreting your behavior with compassion instead of blame, you will change your life, because what you are really transcending here isn't imperfection. It's the punishment for imperfection.

[00:07:53] You'll finally stop beating yourself up for being human. You'll start noticing your goodness, your lion heart, your creativity, your compassion, your drive, and that is when the magic happens. That's when you mojo comes rushing back. That's when work becomes fun again, and that's when you come alive again. This is your transcendent imperfection.

[00:08:18] It's your authentic self and it's the source of your highest performance. By the way. It's how you realign with joy, success, and ease. And yes, even now in the depths of stress and numbness, you can still uplevel your career. If you coach with me, I'll teach you how. Want more? Start with The Gifts Of Imperfection by Brene Brown.

[00:08:43] See the link in the show notes. Thank you for being here today. If you're a Type A human drowning in stress and self-doubt, come talk to me. You can book a free call at dexrandall.com and let's start getting your mojo back. That's what I have. Catch you next time with more balm for your beautiful, burnt out brain.