[00:00:00] Hi everyone, my name's Dex Randall, and this is the Burnout to Leadership podcast, where I teach professional men to recover from burnout and get back to passion and reward at work.

[00:00:22] Hello, my friends. This is Dex with you again. And we are today starting series three of the podcast. For the next 10 episodes, I'm going to share with you my top 10 power tools for overcoming burnout. And you can listen to each episode standalone, or you can follow them as a series, taking up my offer of additional study, exercises, and self coaching.

[00:00:47] So you can start to create real change in your life. In the show notes today, you're going to see a link to the burnout assessment tool. So you can start by checking your own burnout score. So let's talk for a minute about how this series is going to roll out and then we'll get straight into stress relief for you.

[00:01:08] So, okay, the 10 power tools I'm going to teach in this series are the distillation of everything I've learned, taught, and coached over the last seven years, condensed into the 10 tool sets that you need to recover from burnout. And for a deeper dive on any one of those 10 Power Tools, see the additional resources in each Power Tools episode show notes, or visit the Power Tools page.

[00:01:38] And these include today exercises you can try right now. They also include an e course, study guide, other podcast episodes, as well as a plan to get started on burnout recovery. If you missed it: in last week's episode, number 155, I did outline the 10 power tools for you and introduced the series, so you can go back and listen to that.

[00:02:03] Because today I'm going to start straight in by covering my first power tool about starting to overcome the various flavors of suffering associated with burnout. Possibly this is your most pressing need, right? So we're talking about anxiety, overwhelm, frustration, exhaustion, loss of control, and all the rest of the suffering.

[00:02:26] If on the other hand you're new to the Burnout Recovery Podcast, I do recommend that you listen to the very first five episodes to orient yourself. It's all about Burnout 101. What burnout is, why you have it, why you haven't been able to fix it so far, and how to start doing exactly that. In addition, look in today's show notes, because you can join my free anxiety course to learn the top five instant hit techniques to reduce anxiety without needing to acquire any complicated new skills.

[00:03:00] I'm also going to be sending more resources to help you get started with burnout recovery in my emails. So sign up for emails if you want to hear about the next power tool that's coming next week. Again, see that link in the show notes. Okay, got it? That's the housekeeping. Let's get on with power tool number one.

[00:03:20] Relieving suffering, in which most of my audience are pretty typically engulfed and have been for quite a long time.

[00:03:28] And I think one of the first really important concepts to think about, about the suffering of burnout at work particularly, is that your suffering is primarily an emotion, or more than one emotion. Burnout feels like overwork, exhaustion, overwhelm, loss of purpose, morale and motivation, imposter syndrome, failure; feeling unsupported,

[00:03:57] ignored, diminished, and unrewarded; frustrated, anxious, defeated, and helpless. All of those are just emotions really, emotional experiences of what's happening. So the exhaustion of burnout is primarily emotional. And the reason that I say that is you have power to change your emotions. You may not be able to change your workplace very much, or the people who work there, or the projects, or the overheads and the burden.

[00:04:28] But you can change your experience because your experience is emotional. I'm putting the power back in your hands straight off the bat. So really, if we're in burnout, what we have is work distress. We're probably experiencing our workplace as perhaps toxic or uncaring. We may think we have dysfunctional boss or workmates.

[00:04:55] We may think that the system is unfair and it clashes with our values. There may be unreasonable demands placed on us. Or an ever shifting role that we have to fulfill. There might be a lot of overhead, red tape, system functions. There might be a huge burden of responsibilities we're expected to shoulder.

[00:05:19] And we might feel over committed. Might be endless directionless meeting. Might be infighting, conflict. And often there's an expectation of 24 7 availability for messaging. Leaving us with no downtime. But still, we experience all of these distressing circumstances as emotional load. It's emotional wear and tear.

[00:05:46] People want things -we can't deliver. The wear and tear really is on our nervous system. So some of the emotions we might typically experience in burnout, things like uncertainty, it's a bit of a headliner, anxiety, overwhelm stress, lack of control, anger, resentment, blame, impatience and irritation, lack of belonging, recognition, fulfilment or reward. And quite often, as a result of all of that, a bitterness and dread about the whole experience.

[00:06:21] Quite frequently we feel, when we're in burnout, separated from our sense of purpose and contribution. And that in turn depletes our motivation. Then there's the relentless pressures of life outside work, which encroach further on our well being, peace of mind, and capacity for rest. When we're thinking about all of that, what happens is we start to feel a little bit alone with our problems.

[00:06:44] And then we'll start waking up in anxiety and dreading each new day. And once we're in all of that big cycle, our energy doesn't readily recover and we start to feel like victims of the system. We forget or we lose track of our innate worth and our worthiness and our goodness. We lose our sense of belonging, feeling shame and guilt about our performance and the way we're showing up.

[00:07:15] And then we start to withdraw and isolate to protect our bruised minds and hearts. And possibly egos. And when that happens, when we withdraw, we're basically lacking then social connection and support. And that prompts us to feel even more afraid, unprotected, helpless. And this is where we really descend into and engage in the anxiety loop.

[00:07:44] And how that works, you probably know most of this already. Anxious thoughts trigger our amygdala. Basically, it's telling us that something is wrong and it needs to be fixed. The thing is, when we have one anxious thought and it triggers our amygdala, our brain goes on high alert, scanning for further threats.

[00:08:04] It generates more anxious thought. It secretes cortisol, adrenaline, stress hormones, and that fires up our fight or flight. Mobilizing our attack or defense system and shutting down all our repair, digest, and connect functions along with a lot of our cognitive sparkle. So all of this increases our brain's orientation to threat detection and it spawns yet more anxious "what if" thinking.

[00:08:38] Our bodies are wired at this point, unable to relax since we've had this big energy burst of adrenaline. But because we're so tired, this energy shot is actually rather addictive. And we wouldn't mind a bit more. It's perked our brain up. And then what we do is we start believing all these alarming thoughts, these anxious thoughts that are cycling through our mind, then in quick rotation.

[00:09:00] And we descend into the amygdala anxiety spiral, which over time becomes a habit. That's how we get sucked into anxiety as almost a constant in our day, particularly when we're depleted in burnout. So if that sounds a little bit like you and your experience, one of the first tools that will help you, if you are burning out, is to stop taking your anxious thoughts as the truth.

[00:09:28] It's really to find a way to break out of the anxiety cycle, which is so exhausting, debilitating and dispiriting. And letting go of anxiety is both necessary to recovery and it's voluntary. You can do it. You can work to support yourself away from this dense, apparently impenetrable cloud of anxiety. One anxious thought at a time, you can withdraw.

[00:09:56] If you would like some help with this breaking anxiety cycle. See the show notes for my free anxiety course with five quick exercises to stop anxiety when it arises. Of course, it does take practice like any new thing, but you can put anxiety back in its place. Anxiety in modern life is by and large disabling rather than being a helpful process.

[00:10:25] Particularly once you get lost into it as a cycle. So learning to divert your mind away from it will free your mind and your body for more productive tasks. And this is a skill that you'll continue to flex and develop during this entire Power Tools podcast series. You'll start to reduce time in anxiety, learn to invest energy where it's more useful to you.

[00:10:52] Because underneath your anxious suffering is a very decent and capable human being with a good heart and mind. So what we'll do is we'll simply share some ways to return to that good heart and allow that good mind to function more freely. Let's talk about the exercises you're going to find in the anxiety module that you can sign up for.

[00:11:17] Because as Sean Achor, Harvard Happiness Researcher says, "90 percent of long term happiness is predicted by the way your brain processes the world." Or Eckhart Tolle, "The psychological condition of fear, is divorced from any concrete and true immediate danger. Anxiety is caused by too much future and not enough presence."

[00:11:43] So let's look at the exercises. Exercise number one. If your brain tells you that something bad is going to happen, check in with it. And how you do that? Number one, notice that you've had an anxious thought. Notice that you're experiencing anxiety. And listen in, tune in to the anxious thoughts as they pass through your mind.

[00:12:07] Listen to them. And just see, okay, am I in danger right now? Ask yourself that. Because probably not. Usually anxiety is about the future, something that might happen, probably won't. And for bonus points as you're doing this, as you're noticing the thoughts and just checking the realism of them.

[00:12:28] For bonus points, can you offer yourself a less catastrophic possibility of what might happen next? There's usually some options, right? Offer yourself one, why not? So that's exercise one. Exercise two, your amygdala is fired up by anxiety. However, slow breathing is by nature designed to signal to your amygdala that there is no present danger.

[00:12:54] So if you now stop, pause, choose to take three slow and deep and more specifically slow release breaths, you will calm your amygdala and you can break the anxiety loop. Give it a try. Exercise number three. Stop watching your disaster movie. If you have a habitual line of anxious thinking running through your head, an old pattern of worry and possibly self recrimination, just become the observer of it.

[00:13:28] Learn to stand back and watch the thoughts as they pass through your mind. Just separate yourself from those thoughts. You are not your thoughts. You are now the observer of your thoughts. It gives you a different perspective and a little bit of power. So if you can, stand back, listen to the thoughts, notice them come through your mind. And notice the familiar cycle of doom laden thoughts that are playing out there as if you're watching a movie.

[00:13:57] Then decide you've seen the movie before and stop the movie. Controls are under your fingers. Deliberately instead, pause one thought and offer yourself a more encouraging thought. Do that real time.

[00:14:11] From James Clear in Atomic Habits, "Whenever you want to change your behavior, you can simply ask yourself: How can I make this attractive? Easy? And satisfying? So these are all new habits for you. If you haven't practiced taming your anxiety before, give yourself a chance. Atomic Habits is a very good book for encouraging yourself to take on new habits.

[00:14:34] Exercise four. Downplay other people's drama. If someone in your sphere is anxious, over dramatizing a situation, it might offload their anxiety onto you, but it won't relieve yours. Again, stand back, observe that this is happening. Watch your brain trying to buy into somebody else's anxiety and stop.

[00:15:01] Breathe. Choose to have a thought of your own. Remember that you have your own brain and you can choose a new, more advantageous thought, or at least a calmer thought, one that gives you a little bit more space, a little bit more perspective, a little bit more fresh air. And by the way, if you do have somebody like that in your space, do not bother engaging with that other person and arguing with them.

[00:15:30] Just quietly, in your own mind, take care of your own thoughts as a gift to yourself. If you do find these exercises difficult, be gentle on yourself. Try not to criticise or judge yourself. They're new, right? You don't know how to do them yet. You're practising, you're learning. Simply try again later.

[00:15:51] Exercise number five. This is the last one I got for you today. What if it's not that bad? If your brain is anxious and catastrophizing and you so want to believe it, again, stand back and be the observer if you can. Simply see the thoughts going through your mind. Think about the probabilities. Ask yourself, what if other possibilities exist,

[00:16:15] that aren't all doom and gloom? Or what if it's as likely to work out okay as not? Don't believe the hype in your own feverish brain. When it's anxious, it's actually doing what you pay it for. It's trying to protect you from harm. But if you're chronically anxious, it's probably a little bit overzealous .

[00:16:35] Probably afford to be reined in a little bit. Remember, catastrophizing does not point to the truth. It points to your inner fears and your anxiety habit. You're an adult, you have the power to manage your own brain. If you haven't been practicing that, you can simply start now. Offer yourself kindly thoughts all the way.

[00:17:00] Encourage yourself. Go back to the breathing exercise if you like, just to cut out of the anxiety loop first. I really do encourage you to explore these exercises every day. Allow yourself to be a beginner because each of them are quick, easy and effective. If they're unfamiliar to you now, they will become more practiced each time you try.

[00:17:24] And by the way, telling yourself you can't do this is normal. Our brains don't like change. They don't like changing habits. They resist. And plus you're an adult, learning new stuff, a little bit rusty? But here's the thing, burnout recovery depends on creating change. You don't want more of the same. So you can begin by choosing to make some change today.

[00:17:48] And when you begin this way, by practicing, you're reducing your suffering one day at a time. And that's all it takes. It's incremental, it compounds. As you begin to lighten your own load of stress, the rewards will begin to propel you forward. So just start as a kindness to yourself and don't judge yourself as a further kindness to yourself because you deserve it.

[00:18:15] All right, so those exercises are what I have for you today. Thank you for listening. If you need help with your burnout recovery, come and talk to me for free at DexRandall. com. We'll fast track your revival away from burnout. And don't forget next week is power tool number two, how to start feeling better.

[00:18:35] Subscribe to the podcast and sign up for the Power Tools emails to stay in the loop. There are many free resources in the show notes today, so don't miss those. If you start taking action now and over the series on Power Tools, you can regain more and more control over your work and life situation, but you must do, not just listen.

[00:18:59] Once again, if you've enjoyed today's episode, I would love you to pay it forward and share the podcast with your mates who also suffer. This is how we can reach out to help more people who suffer in burnout. And likewise, same reason I would also love it, my friend, if you would rate and review the podcast.

[00:19:18] All right, get cracking with those exercises. I will see you again next week.