[00:00:00] Hi everyone, my name's Dex Randall, and this is the Burnout to Leadership podcast, where I teach professional men to recover from burnout and get back to passion and reward at work.
[00:00:22] Hello my friends, this is Dex. Welcome to this week's episode, where we're going to explore the feeling of being diminished. And really this can happen in two principal ways. Either your environment signals something diminished about you, or you're harbouring diminished thoughts about yourself. Often, it's a mix of both.
[00:00:43] This week, I faced some test results that seemed to confirm my own diminishment evidence, and it felt hard to argue with, and even harder to process. It brought me back to my experience of burnout, where a profound sense of personal diminishment took hold, making it feel impossible to push back. If this resonates for you, let's dive in.
[00:01:07] Because here's the thing, if you're feeling diminished right now, you're not as powerless as you might think. Don't stay stuck when you have the tools to reclaim your power. So understanding diminishment then, the two triggers. There are two major triggers for feeling diminished. And the first one is insult or external criticism.
[00:01:28] This is when somebody projects their own pain, insecurities, or negative beliefs onto you. It could come in the form of bullying, prejudice, racism, homophobia, controlling behavior, or outright violence. But often you're simply a target, not the cause. For example, I think back to junior school and there was a guy there called Urwin and he was hassled relentlessly by the other kids.
[00:01:56] Likely because he was skinny and nerdy. I never really understood why. But it serves as a stark reminder, others prey on our vulnerabilities. Not because they think we're weak, but because they're hurting. And then, there's the internal bully, self judgement. This silent assassin often does more damage to us than any external insult.
[00:02:22] Okay, and then the second factor is measurable data. Numbers can feel like proof of inadequacy. Things like test scores, exam results, weight, fitness, income, career performance, or even the lack of partner or children can seem to confirm your shortcomings. We compare ourselves to expectations, our own, others', or society's.
[00:02:49] And when we fall short, the belief in our diminished worth is reinforced.
[00:02:54] When feeling diminished becomes the norm. If this feeling is consistent, it's often rooted in our relationships, family, partners, work, or community, or in systemic biases like racism or homophobia. It can also stem from childhood, when caregivers or authority figures projected their struggles onto us, leading us to believe we were inherently flawed.
[00:03:21] And the shame that arises from this is quite sticky. It becomes part of our identity, leaving us with feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem, and worthlessness. And shame is particularly insidious, because it attacks who we are, not just what we do. Shame, then, the root of diminishment. Notice that shame can't be solved by working harder.
[00:03:48] It's not about effort, it's about perspective. Shame thrives on the belief that you're not good enough as you are. But here's the truth, you already are enough. Rebuilding self worth then is a profound journey. It starts with rejecting the labels others put on us. And choosing instead to define ourselves with kindness and compassion.
[00:04:10] It's personal development in its purest form and it transforms everything. Breaking free from diminishment. This work is about learning new habits, skills and ways to treat yourself. It's about moving from self criticism to self championship. I call it championing yourself, becoming the guardian angel and supportive ally you've always wanted.
[00:04:38] One of my clients recently asked if this was like putting on your own oxygen mask first. Yes, that's exactly what it is. When you nurture and accept yourself, you create the emotional surplus to be there for others. On my own journey with diminishment this week as I was wrestling with feelings of diminishment, I turned to meditation.
[00:05:02] I reconnected with the deep, universal goodness that resides in all of us and around all of us. It reminded me that we're not defined by our bodies, achievements or shortcomings. We are energy, love and possibility. I've also reflected on my past. By old measures, I might not have been good enough. But clinging to that belief doesn't serve me, or anyone else.
[00:05:29] Instead, I choose to focus on being kind hearted and well intentioned. That's my foundation, and that's enough. So how about you? Do you let others define who you are? Are you consistently kind and loving towards yourself? Have you created peace and understanding within your own heart? If you haven't, and instead feel overwhelmed by diminishment, shame, or self doubt, let's talk.
[00:05:58] Burnout recovery is possible, no matter where you're starting from. Next steps. If you have not listened to episode number 36 on championing yourself, that's a great place to start. You'll find it in the show notes, along with episodes on shame and self acceptance. For those new to the podcast, I recommend starting with the first five episodes.
[00:06:21] They lay the foundation for your journey back to wholeness. And I'll leave you with a blessing from Nyoshul Khen Rinpoche. "Rest in natural great peace. This exhausted mind, beaten helpless by karma and neurotic thoughts, like the relentless fury of the pounding waves, In the infinite ocean of samsara. Rest in natural great peace."
[00:06:48] Let's work together on this. If you're in burnout, let's meet up and make a plan for your recovery. You can book a free appointment with me at DexRandall.com If you enjoyed today's episode, please do share it with your friends and leave a rating or review because this helps us reach more people who need to hear this message.
[00:07:10] Thank you for listening. Until next time, take care of yourself.
