Burnout to Leadership

EP#17 4 essential tips to overcoming obstacles to your goal

January 14, 2022 Season 1 Episode 17
Burnout to Leadership
EP#17 4 essential tips to overcoming obstacles to your goal
Transcript

Hi everyone, my name is Dex Randall, and this is The Burnout to Leadership podcast, where I teach professional men to recover from burnout and get back to passion and reward at work. Hello, my friends, this is Dex. I hope this finds you well. And today, what we're gonna do is follow up on last week's episode number 16 on setting a goal and getting it off the ground, and today we're gonna review the four essential tips to overcoming obstacles to achieving your goal. And I super love this, I've really been looking forward to doing it 'cause I love talking about goals, I could talk all day. Anyway, when we are talking about obstacles, obstacles to your goal, guess where they are, they're all in your head. Because if you really want to achieve your goal badly enough, you will achieve it, you will overcome your obstacles by persistence and belief. So if you think your obstacles are outside of you, maybe not so much in the end. So I'm guessing if you're listening today, it's because you're chasing a big goal and you'd like some help staying the distance, and really by definition, any goal you set is something you're not sure you can achieve, otherwise you'll just be setting yourself a bunch of tasks to complete. And possibly, as I'm releasing this episode in January, you have a New Year's Resolution or some goal for this year, maybe it's already looking a little bit shaky or is lost in the weeds. And don't worry, you can still rescue it, it's not too late. Probably, if you groaned when you heard that this episode is gonna be your saviour. And one thing to bear in mind with goals is, when we think of them as impossible, when there's something we've never done before, and we aren't sure we can do this time, then our brains are where we're gonna go to make the magic happen. So, if your inner critic is full of doubt, worry, frustration, laziness, confusion, indecision, or if you like commitment, discipline, enthusiasm, inspiration or belief, basically, if your grits gone missing then you're in the right place. Because your brain, when it's faced with a new undertaking will always want to back out. It will always find a million excuses why you should quit, because resisting change is a design feature of your brain, it's supposed to do that, that's what you pay it to do actually. Even if your goal is something you've achieved before, like emptying your inbox completely, a lot of people come to me with that one. Maybe it's been a while since you did that, or maybe you did it once and it got super full again, and your brain is almost certainly suggesting that you're not going to manage it this time or if you've got a work goal or a money goal, that goal might be swimming against a really big tide of negative beliefs you've held for years, so many reasons that you can't do this thing. Actually, you can do this thing. So let's look at how to tame your brain, stay on track with your goal and cross the finish line. Because solving problems with your brain is way easier, quicker and cheaper than solving problems by taking lots of action and maybe failing on some of it. Because no amount of useful looking action can override a negative belief about your goal. I mean, secretly we always know this, but our egos love to try and act their way out of trouble. And essentially, that's how we got into burnout, right? So okay, you can do this thing. Let's go. Here are four essential tips to make sure your goal gets back on track and stays on track. And number one, and I talked about this in the last episode as well, re commit. You committed to your goal at the start, right, when your goal was fresh. And maybe if it's a one year goal. Now, let's say January the 1st. And you might... When you made that commitment at the beginning, it might be a bit... It may come a bit feeble, it might... You might have jammed it into gear when you're a little bit fuzzy from the night before, if you did it January the 1st. But for some reason, maybe it's the little weak. But if your activity began well, and has since waned, maybe now, obstacles are all that you can see, and so you can re commit at any time, you can strengthen your commitment, it's like a muscle you work. So do it now, right on the spot while you're listening to this, re commit to your goal, do it every morning on purpose. Re commit and decide to be in success mode, and then just take the next small step forward today. This you do to honour your goal, which is really the same as honouring yourself. And honouring yourself, finding your goal important, finding yourself important is how you develop trust in yourself. Yesterday, actually, I was listening to a Palace official talking about the Queen's drinking habits over Christmas at Windsor Castle. Apparently, she likes a couple. Well, I bet she never lies around in the morning thinking she doesn't feel like getting up. Why? Because she has a steely resolve of duty to the Crown, unwavering, unquestioning. I mean, she's 95 and still working. She's found her job important enough to stick to it without any question or doubt. And when you find yourself that important, it's gonna transform what you can achieve, but only you can do that for yourself. You have to choose the importance, you have to choose to commit to yourself. And I also like to reflect on my commitment every day, especially if I'm feeling a bit lazy, and to boost up what you do is you can create enthusiasm and inspiration by remembering why you want to achieve the goal in the first place. When I decide on a goal, I always know why I'm doing it, and it's often to benefit others, not just me. I mean, maybe in your case, it's your family, for example. Then you visualise your goal achieved, look into your future, visualise yourself having achieved it, and visualise you or other people benefiting from that. See how happy you are. What can you do then that you couldn't do now? Or who are you then, which is more than who you are now? What did you learn to get there that you don't know now? And then when you think about that, when you think about your future self and how good that feels, offer that future your efforts towards this goal as a gift. How do you feel when you think about your future? You can generate more of that feeling on demand by continuing to think and practice into this future self each day as you commit to your goal. So, number one top tip, my top tip that I like the best is, re commit enthusiasm, which literally means in God, and inspiration, which means in spirit, will tap you into something that's bigger than yourself, the universal energy, creativity and flow. You'll automatically start to feel good about yourself and your goal and results will flow naturally from there once you re commit and generate this good feeling on purpose. So that's my number one. Number two, stop playing your, I can't do it movie. When your mind gives you obstacles, don't believe it, and this equally applies to when other people voice their doubts about your goal. You're having negative thoughts in your mind, or other people are having negative thoughts in their mind and telling you, but those thoughts are not facts, they're just random words your mind babbles out to confuse you. Your mind's job, as we recall, is to resist change. Just don't believe it. You can even thank the thoughts for coming and then ignore them, move on. Sometimes I say to my brain, Noted. I got it. Don't worry about that. It's not gonna happen. I'll take it from here. So don't play the whole movie of, Why I can't achieve my goal on endless repeat in your head like some bad old Western. As I record this, Archbishop Desmond Tutu died yesterday. He was a tireless anti apartheid and human rights activist, a non violent protester. Despite the fact that he was Black and grew up in South Africa, I mean, he had a few things going against him, his goal was not an easy one. He also spoke out for gay rights, for female priests, and a bunch of other tough wickets, again, some of the wars that were being fought back in that time, but he never backed down, is why he was compelling. He committed absolutely and persisted against every obstacle. Think if you like of somebody you admire who's achieved greatness. What do you think their attitude to adversity or obstacles was? And more importantly, what would you like your attitude to be? Because fundamentally, the people who succeed are the people who think they will succeed, so you can be that now. Decide that you can achieve your goal, decide that you will achieve your goal, and again, visualise your future self who has achieved your goal. Imagine how good that person feels. Really put some energy into it, generate some enthusiasm. So that's my number two tip, stop indulging in your I can't do it movie and just do it. Sounds easy, I know, but I'm telling you, this is a practice that you can develop how as a habit. So tip number three, take massive action. I'm sure you've heard me say it before, in some context, once you've got your head on straight and you're motivated, when you're starting out each day, pick one thing that will move you forward in a tangible way towards your goal and commit to doing that one thing. Not one thing to research, not one thing to spend time on, not one thing to noodle out ideas on, with a plan on, not busy work, not procrastination, don't hide. Pick one result to create today that will move you towards your goal in a measurable way. If you do that one thing and maybe it doesn't even take very long, it might just be a phone call. If you do one thing every day, how long will it take you then to achieve your goal? And when you do that one concrete thing each day, you break down the elephant you're trying to eat into bite sized chunks after all, it becomes manageable. You also proved to yourself that you can get results by getting results every day. It's very, very motivating. The brain loves to get small wins. And don't forget to tell yourself it's a win, write it down, celebrate it, be grateful. Even if you try and fail on your one thing, if it's an honest effort, an honest try, it's probably still moving you forward. You'll probably learn something useful. You'll know what didn't work. When you stop hiding from yourself by taking real productive action, you create momentum and you also great enjoyment. You create proof of concept, it becomes a game you like to win, a challenge rather than a daily terror, but most of all, I think you create trust. You've honoured your commitment to yourself. And trust, I come back to time and time again, it is so important to invest in your relationship with yourself. So my number three tip is take massive action every day. Don't quit. My tip number four, play nice with others. This one's for all you alphas and type A's out there, I know you're listening. Support is a good thing. Teamwork is a good thing. Not a threat to your masculinity or whatever your gender expression may be. Teamwork can't diminish you. It's not faster alone, it's better together. And Shawn Achor from his book, Big Potential, highly recommend it, essentially, it's about how teamwork beats solo efforts, but only every time. And it really acknowledges that the height of your potential is predicted by the people who surround you. Now, if you already have good people around you, use them for goodness sake, ask them, get them involved. Good people like helping others, and to prove this, my bet is you like helping others yourself. Why wouldn't other people want to support you? If you don't have those people around you, find them, people who share your goals and values. Gather up some people around you. I was listening to a guy called Gus Worland today, he's a radio DJ from Sydney where I live, and he started a foundation to teach boys to build, if you like, emotional, emotional muscle, emotional expression, emotional resilience, and he did it to combat youth suicide. He's just an all around good guy. He's very willing to be vulnerable himself and show his own emotion. He's quite happy to make an idiot of himself sometimes, sing badly, let it all hang out. I really admire his approach, and it's no coincidence that because of that, he's a very good team builder, approachable and honest, and I'd like to be more like him. I'd like to be a lot more like him actually, 'cause believe me, I've had to fight my own will, tooth and nail on this. My ego would love me to operate alone but my shoulders just aren't that broad actually. A rock, I am not. I might be capable in many ways, but a rock, no, definitely no. I'm very introverted, and in my family, we grew up speaking a very economical amount of truth, and we kept squarely out of each other's business. My family was not in most senses a team, it was a little bit more gladiatorial in that. And so I can really see the value of teamwork now, but I have to really rouse myself to get involved because that hasn't historically been my way. But for you, if you're resisting teamwork, if you're resisting asking for support or help, then really know that you're severely limiting your potential. You're cramping your own style, especially on achieving goals. So where is the real gain there for you, just ask yourself that question. And by the way, nobody is buying your invincible act. Nobody is invincible. So, vincible could be... Vincible, not invincible could be your new strategy, permeable. Let me think about how you can try that or even create some proof that that can work for you. So that's my number four tip. Really get your team on board. And as I said, I could go on about goals all day, but if you have a goal relating to escaping burnout, if you really want to leave burnout behind and go on to greater things, that's where this work will super pay off. If you want to be back at the helm in a much more adaptable, extendable way, come and talk to me. So that's what I have for you. Thanks for listening. I appreciate you being here as always. You can visit my website at burnouttoleadership.com for the show notes, and please do subscribe and rate this podcast. Forward it to anyone you know who needs help with professional burnout. And if you want to come and talk to me about bouncing back from burnout and join top flight professional performance reaching all your goals, then please do stay on for the link at the end. If you're in burnout and ready to recover, come and join my burnout to leadership program. You can look into talk with me at burnout.dexrandall.com. Just tell me what's bugging you and let's make a plan to fix it.